Imposter Syndrome and the Power of Saying It Out Loud
Let’s talk about that inner voice.
You know the one.
When I first started matchmaking, I definitely felt like an impostor. Like I had no right doing what I was doing. The funny part? I had incredible results from the beginning. But that didn’t stop the doubts. What shifted things for me was learning how to manage both my clients' expectations and my own. That’s when things started to become clear.
What Is Imposter Syndrome, Really?
It’s not always loud.
It’s not always obvious.
It’s that sneaky gut feeling that you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing. Like you’re waiting for someone to tap you on the shoulder and say, “You don’t belong here.”
What It Sounds Like In Your Head
It usually shows up with thoughts like:
"Who am I to do this?"
"Someone more qualified should be doing this."
"I don’t belong in this room."
It’s quiet. It hides behind things like over-preparation, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or even procrastination.
Why We Don’t Talk About It
Because we’re afraid.
Afraid of being seen as weak.
Afraid someone will say, “You’re right, you shouldn’t be here.”
We live in a world that rewards certainty and confidence, especially online. Social media thrives off filters and wins, not vulnerability and doubts. This hits even harder for women, creatives, and entrepreneurs. We’re used to performing. We’re trained to look like we have it together.
What Happens When You Say It Out Loud
The second I started being honest about how I was feeling, everything changed.
Instead of pretending, I started saying, “This is what I do, here’s how I do it, and here’s what you can expect.”
It felt honest. It felt grounding.
I leaned on my peers in the matchmaking world. I asked questions, shared my doubts, and admitted when I was stuck. And you know what I heard? “Same.” That word alone cracked the isolation wide open.
When You Name It, You Disarm It
Suddenly, imposter syndrome doesn’t have the same grip.
You open the door for support. You invite a real connection.
You show others they don’t have to fake it either.
And that’s where the community starts to grow.
How to Start Naming It (Without Spiraling)
Try saying:
“I’ve been second-guessing myself lately.”
“Can I be honest? I’ve been feeling a little off.”
“Have you ever felt like you’re not qualified even though you are?”
You’re not asking for a solution. You’re just inviting someone to hold space for you. Find a trusted place where you can be honest. A friend, a peer, a small group. Somewhere that feels safe.
Final Thoughts
Imposter syndrome isn’t a weakness. It’s a signal that you care deeply about what you’re doing.
It often shows up during seasons of growth, when you’re stretching into something new. And while there are moments when we have to “fake it” a little to show up, the real transformation happens when we surround ourselves with people who truly see us.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You just have to keep showing up.
Lean into your community. Speak it out loud.
Let yourself be supported.
Because when you’re surrounded by people who see your potential, you start to believe in it too.
xo,
Danielle Victoriah
