How to Know If a Women’s Group Is Worth Your Time

Red flags, green flags, and how to tell if a space is going to fill your cup or totally drain it.

Let’s be real: not every women’s group is going to be your group.
Some are going to feel like a giant group chat, you can’t get a word in.
Others might be full of people you technically “network” with but would never actually want to grab a matcha with (and I sure love me some lavender matcha).

So, how do you know if a space is worth YOUR time?

Let’s talk about it.

First: It’s Okay to Be in More Than One Room

I run the Modern Round Table, and yes, I’m part of a few other communities too. That doesn’t make me disloyal, it makes me layered.

You don’t have to pick just one group and pledge your lifelong loyalty like it’s a sorority.
What does matter is being intentional with your energy. Show up where it feels aligned, where you can both give and receive. Otherwise, you’re just collecting Slack channels and Zoom links like Pokémon cards.

🚩 Red Flags: When the Vibe’s Off

Here are a few signs it might not be the right fit:

  • You leave every call feeling more drained than inspired

  • The energy is super cliquey or competitive

  • You find yourself zoning out or multitasking the whole time

  • You’re not excited to show up (or worse, feel dread)

  • It feels like a one-way street… you’re giving, sharing, showing up... and getting crickets

These are your signposts to either step back or speak up.

✅ Green Flags: When It’s a Hell Yes

Now for the good stuff. A space is probably worth your time if:

  • You leave calls feeling more connected and energized

  • You’d genuinely get coffee (or wine, or tea, whatever your thing is) with at least 75% of the women you meet

  • The conversations challenge you and support you

  • You feel safe being your whole, messy, magical self

  • You don’t feel pressure to perform, you just get to be

Those are the moments when you know you're in the right room. Trust those little sparks.

Try Before You Commit

Give it a few weeks. Let yourself ease in, feel the rhythm, and vibe check the group. One call probably won’t tell you everything. But by the third or fourth? You’ll know if it’s nourishing your soul or just taking up space on your calendar.

My Final Take

I believe in that “if you know, you know” kind of energy.
You’re allowed to try things on.

You’re allowed to change your mind.

And you’re allowed to not join that networking group your cousin’s friend’s sister keeps DMing you about.

Protect your energy, protect your calendar, and pour into the spaces that pour back.

Now go find your people or build your own table (hi, Modern Round Table, shameless plug).

Xo,

Danielle Victoriah

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