The One Question That Helps You Discover How They Create Space

You know those moments in a conversation when you can feel it shifting from polite smiles and “so, what do you do?” into something real?

That’s when I pull out one of my favorite questions:

“What’s something you’ve let go of this year that made space for more peace?”

This question is gentle but powerful. It doesn’t force anyone to spill their soul, but it invites them to go a little deeper, to reflect, to pause. And let’s be honest, how often do we get asked something that makes us feel seen and safe?

I don’t ask this five minutes into chatting with someone over sparkling water and half-melted hummus. Timing matters. This is a question for when you’ve shared a laugh, a moment, maybe a mutual eye roll over the networking event icebreaker. You can feel the walls dropping, just a little.

Here’s the thing about this question: it opens the door to connection without requiring a heavy story. It creates a soft little landing for someone to talk about their growth, their shift, their “you know what, I’m done with that” energy.

When you ask, ask like you mean it. With your whole presence.

Don’t rush.

Let the silence breathe if they need a second (or ten) to think.

That pause? It’s gold.

That’s where people go inward, not awkward. Don’t fill the space just because you’re uncomfortable with the quiet.

And fair warning: they might toss that question right back at you. So be ready.

You don’t need a perfect answer. Just a real one.

For me? I let go of trying to control every little detail.

(And yes, I was the plan-the-outfits-a-week-ahead kind of girl, so this was no small feat.)

This year, my husband and I packed up our lives, toddler, rescue dog, and all, and hit the road. We’re working remotely, traveling full-time, and following curiosity instead of rigid plans. I used to need a color-coded calendar to function. Now, I’m learning to go with the flow. Letting go of that control gave me more peace than I ever thought possible.

Letting go creates space.
For peace. For spontaneity. For new friendships. For you.

And that’s why we ask these questions at our Round Table.

Because these are the conversations that change us, little by little. They make us think about what we’re still holding on to, and what we might be ready to finally release.

Here’s what I’ve heard other women say:

“I let go of needing to answer every text right away.”
“I let go of pretending I was okay when I wasn’t.”
“I let go of chasing friendships that weren’t chasing me back.”
“I let go of the guilt around taking time for myself.”

Each answer unlocks a door for someone else to share, too.

And suddenly, you're not just talking, you’re connecting.

So the next time you’re in a conversation that feels ready for a deeper layer, try this question.

Let it sit.

Let it land.

And then listen.

Because real connection doesn’t come from asking it perfectly, it comes from having the guts to ask it at all.

See you at the next Round Table. 💫

Xo,

Danielle Victoriah