It’s Time to Rethink Dating Standards

Somewhere along the way, “standards” in dating got mixed up with “checklists.” We started confusing true compatibility with surface-level preferences, height, hobbies, even footwear (yes, I’ve heard it all).

Here’s a story for you. I was interviewing a potential match for one of my clients, and she stopped me mid-sentence: “I don’t date bald men.” Non-negotiable, she said. The problem? My client, the one I was considering for her, happened to be bald. But he also happened to check every single box that actually mattered. They shared the same political beliefs. They practiced the same religion. He was super into pickleball, and she had just started taking lessons. Their lifestyles, values, and long-term visions lined up beautifully. Everything pointed to compatibility… except the hair on his head.

Here’s the hard truth: sometimes your list is the very thing keeping you single. Not because you don’t deserve love, but because you’re filtering out good people for the wrong reasons.

I’m not saying throw out your non-negotiables, values like honesty, respect, and emotional safety should always stay. But maybe it’s time to loosen the grip on the little things that don’t actually build a relationship.

Because when you stop measuring love by inches, hairlines, or how someone orders dinner, you open the door to something better: a partner who actually shows up for you.

Love is about building a life with someone who makes the messy, ordinary days feel extraordinary. And that kind of connection? It starts when you rethink what “standards” really mean.

xo,

Danielle Victoriah