Do People Who Had It All Growing Up Create Their Own Chaos?

Do People Who Had "Everything" Growing Up Create Their Own Struggles Later?

This thought has been living rent-free in my head ever since I heard it:

“When someone is handed everything in childhood, they often look for struggle later in life.”

Wait… what?! Mind. Blown.
I mean, seriously. What the hell?

I started looking back at a few past friendships, particularly the ones that always left me scratching my head.

You know the ones.

The friend who was born into wealth, had every opportunity, every advantage, and yet… would pick fights out of nowhere. Or suddenly spiral over the smallest things. I’d walk away thinking, What just happened? Like, how did a simple lunch convo turn into an emotional landmine?

At the time, I didn’t have the words for it. But hearing that sentence put it all into perspective.

Now, I’m not saying this is always the case. And I’m definitely not saying that growing up with privilege is a bad thing, let’s be real, we all want to give our kids as many advantages as we can.

But here’s the thing. If someone never had to develop resilience or navigate real-world problems growing up, could it be that, subconsciously, they look for that discomfort elsewhere? That they stir the pot, chase drama, or create conflict, not out of malice, but because they don’t know how to exist without some sort of challenge?

Whew.

That hit me. Hard.

Looking back, I can see this pattern. A few past friendships had everything on paper… fun, generous, exciting people, but there was always this undercurrent of chaos or conflict. And now I wonder, maybe they were looking for struggle because life never taught them how to handle stillness.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m way off base. But maybe I’m not.

So I’m curious…
Have you noticed this?
Have you ever had a friendship that seemed confusing or unnecessarily dramatic, and now you're wondering if this could explain a piece of it?

I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments. Let’s talk about it.

Because the more we understand how someone’s past might show up in the present, the more compassion (and boundaries) we can bring into our relationships.

See you at the next Round Table. 💫

Xo,

Danielle Victoriah